Holiday Meals, Warrior Style: How SpongeBob and I Used the 3 Food Rules for Mental Health and Fun 🧠🛒
- Bruce Schutter
- May 23
- 5 min read
I was deep in thought in aisle seven, staring at a head of cauliflower and wondering, "If I pretend it's mashed potatoes, will my taste buds fall for it?" That’s when I heard a familiar, over-caffeinated voice yell, "Bruce! Mental Health Warrior in the house!"
It was SpongeBob SquarePants. Yellow, square, smiling—and riding a shopping cart like a scooter while holding what looked like a holiday meal plan made of crayon and glitter.
"SpongeBob?" I blinked.
"In the flesh—well, sponge. I’m prepping for the holidays, and guess what? The whole Bikini Bottom crew is on the Mental Health Warrior path now!"
I had to laugh. "Even Squidward?"
"Especially Squidward. He’s been talking about his emotions every day and only rolls his eyes twice an hour now. Progress!"
The Mental Health Warrior Story
"You know we’ve been following your story," SpongeBob said, standing proudly in front of a tower of spaghetti squash.
He meant my 20-year struggle with Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders and PTSD. Years of chaos and survival mode that left me feeling so powerless that I tried to end my life. But then I discovered a life-changing truth: Mental Health is the key to overcoming any challenge.
From my journey, I created the Mental Health Warrior Program—a groundbreaking SELF-HELP approach, designed to help everyone take charge of their emotions, triumph over challenges and build the life they really want!
It’s packed with tools, life-style changes and mindset shifts that help people go from barely coping to fully THRIVING!
SpongeBob nodded solemnly. "Your program helped us see that mental health isn’t just something you deal with when things go bad—it’s the daily fuel for everything."
3 Warrior Food Rules
He flipped open his copy of 3 Food Rules of a Mental Health Warrior, pages slightly soggy from what I assume was an underwater kitchen accident.
Rule 1: Choose Low Carb Foods
Rule 2: No Sugar
Rule 3: Choose Minimally Processed Foods
"I want holiday meals that follow the Warrior Food Rules," SpongeBob said. "You know—so we can enjoy the party without the crash, the brain fog, or the emotional dumpster fire after eating six sugar filled pies."
"Done," I said. "Let’s build a menu that boosts mood, fuels focus and still feels like a holiday feast—even if you're a sponge."
Meal 1: Zucchini Lasagna Stacks
3 Food Rule Friendly:
This dish checks every Warrior box:
Low Carb? Yep—no pasta here. Zucchini slices act as the noodles.
No Sugar? You bet. Use a sugar-free marinara or make your own.
Minimally Processed? Absolutely. Real, whole ingredients—zucchini, ricotta, turkey, herbs—nothing weird, nothing you can’t pronounce.
It’s lasagna, reimagined by a Warrior (and a sponge).
Easy Prep:
Slice zucchini thin, layer with sugar-free marinara, ricotta cheese, and cooked ground turkey or beef. Sprinkle with herbs. Stack it like a Jenga tower and bake at 375°F for about 25 minutes.
Mental Health Benefit:
Zucchini is packed with B vitamins—aka brain fuel. The turkey provides lean protein, which stabilizes mood. Tomato sauce with herbs = anti-inflammatory goodness.
SpongeBob’s Wisdom:
"It's like lasagna got a motivational speaker and turned its life around!"
Your Turn:
Skip the heavy pasta. Use fresh ingredients and create comfort food without the carb crash. Your brain and your belly will thank you.
Meal 2: Cauliflower Mash with Herbed Chicken Thighs
3 Food Rule Friendly:
Another triple win:
Low Carb? Cauliflower steps in for potatoes like a veggie hero in disguise.
No Sugar? Zero sugar needed when you’ve got garlic and herbs doing the flavor heavy lifting.
Minimally Processed? All real ingredients—fresh cauliflower, olive oil, garlic, lemon, and bone-in chicken thighs. No packets, no mystery powders.
It’s a holiday comfort meal without the food coma consequences!
Easy Prep:
Boil or steam cauliflower until soft, then blend with garlic, olive oil, and a pinch of sea salt until smooth. For extra flavor, toss in a handful of cheese while blending—it takes the mash from good to holiday-worthy.
Roast chicken thighs at 400°F with rosemary, lemon juice, and olive oil for about 35–40 minutes, until golden and delicious.
Mental Health Benefit:
Cauliflower supports brain detox and digestive health (translation: fewer brain farts). Chicken thighs offer healthy fat and protein that stabilize energy and mood.
SpongeBob’s Wisdom:
"It’s like Thanksgiving, but your brain doesn’t need a nap afterward!"
Your Turn:
Put down the instant potatoes. This creamy mash is just as satisfying and won’t leave you in a food coma.
Meal 3: Avocado Deviled Eggs with Veggie Sticks
3 Food Rule Friendly:
It’s a clean sweep again:
Low Carb? Yes—eggs and avocados are practically carb-free.
No Sugar? Not even a sprinkle.
Minimally Processed? Just eggs, avocado, and basic pantry staples like mustard and lemon.
If a sponge can make it, so can you.
Easy Prep:
Hard-boil eggs. Slice in half, remove yolks. Mix yolks with mashed avocado, lemon juice, mustard, salt, and pepper. Fill egg whites and serve with colorful veggie sticks (bell peppers, cucumbers, carrots).
Avocado Alternative:
Swap in plain Greek yogurt or olive oil mayo for the avocado. Both are easy to find, budget-friendly, and still follow the 3 Food Rules (just check for no added sugar or funky oils if using mayo).
Mental Health Benefit:
Eggs are loaded with choline for memory and focus. Avocados bring healthy fats that boost mood and help calm anxiety. Plus, they look fancy.
SpongeBob’s Wisdom:
"If self-care were a snack, it’d be this."
Your Turn:
These are great for snacking and impressing guests who think you went to culinary school. (You didn’t. It’s just avocado magic.)
Bonus: Cook Together, Thrive Together
Before SpongeBob rolled off with his cart full of warrior-approved goodies, he turned and asked, "Can I invite everyone over to help prep the food?"
"Absolutely," I said. "Cooking together is one of the most powerful Mental Health Warrior tools there is."
Preparing meals as a group does more than lighten the workload—it builds connection, laughter, and support. Whether it’s Squidward chopping veggies (grumbling, but still showing up), or Patrick trying to wear an apron like a cape, every moment becomes part of your wellness routine.
Let people in. Let them help. And let them heal alongside you!
Ready for Action
We high-fived by the hummus cooler.
"You always deliver, Bruce!" SpongeBob said. "This year, our holiday will be Warrior-fueled AND sponge-approved!"
“Absolutely,” I said. “Mental health doesn’t take a holiday—but now it can taste like one, thanks to 3 Food Rules of a Mental Health Warrior.”
As we rolled off toward our carts—me with cauliflower mash plans, SpongeBob with a glittery list—I smiled. Even in a grocery store, surrounded by chaos, aisles of cookies, and loudspeaker music, Mental Health Warriors rise. One bite at a time!
Bruce Schutter
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