The Secret Behind 31 Years of Marriage: How Bruce and Lee Schutter Use Mindset Rule 3

It was supposed to be a quiet morning. Diet soda. A little sunshine. Maybe a walk.

But instead, there was a knock at the door — then another — and suddenly, the whole front porch looked like a cartoon-character support group had broken into a party supply store.

There stood Winnie the Pooh, holding a honey jar with a bow on it. SpongeBob had balloons tangled around his square pants. Gibbs from NCIS gave a solemn nod. John Wick was there too — seriously, how does he move so quietly? And of course, the Minions had brought confetti cannons and absolutely no sense of volume control.

“BRUUUUCE!” yelled Kevin the Minion. “WE HEARD IT WAS YOUR 31-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH LEE!”

Yup. Thirty-one years of marriage. Thirty-one years of friendship. Thirty-one years of supporting each other — even through the storms of mental health challenges.

“We had to celebrate,” said Pooh, handing over a slightly sticky card. “Also, we have some questions.”

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. “How do you make it work? With everything you’ve both faced — how did you and Lee keep going for thirty-one years?”

I smiled, because the answer was simple.

Mindset Rule 3: Talk About It.

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The Warrior Story

Of course, this crew already knew my story. They weren’t just surprise visitors with confetti cannons and questionable porch etiquette — they were fellow Warriors.

After 20 years battling Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders and PTSD, I hit rock bottom. I felt powerless. I even tried to end my life. But in that darkness, I discovered something life-changing: Mental health is the key to overcoming any challenge.

From that turning point, I created the Mental Health Warrior Program — a new SELF-HELP approach that puts YOU in charge, so you can take charge of your emotions, triumph over challenges and build the life you really want.

A core part of that program is building a new mindset through the complete library found in 53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior. These rules help you stay emotionally centered, act with clarity and build strength through any situation — all while staying in charge of your day.

“The foundation of everything — marriage, friendship, support — comes down to Mental Health Warrior Mindset Rule 3: Talk About It.”

They all leaned in.

“Talking about our mental health doesn’t just help us individually,” I continued. “It’s the key to making any relationship thrive — especially when one or both of you are struggling. Lee and I have both been on the inside and the outside — struggling ourselves and watching the other struggle. Talking is how we build trust, avoid silence and show up for each other.”

SpongeBob wiped away a tear with a balloon string.

“That’s… really beautiful,” he said. “Can you give us three tips on how you and Lee use it?”

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Tip 1: Let the Other Person Into Your World

“You can’t expect someone to support you if they don’t understand what you’re experiencing,” I explained. “That’s why I had to learn how to explain what it feels like to live with bipolar disorder. I had to show Lee what my thinking looks like when I’m spiraling, so she wouldn’t feel shut out, confused or forced to guess what was happening.”

“And when I let her in, something changed. She didn’t have to stand outside the storm wondering what to do. She understood more. I felt less alone. And together, we could respond instead of react.”

“Letting someone in — really in — builds the foundation of communication.”

Warrior's Takeaway:

Winnie the Pooh nodded slowly.

“Sometimes I get sad and don’t know why,” he said. “I usually just wait for it to pass, but maybe if I told Christopher Robin more often, he wouldn’t worry so much or have to guess how to help me. I think I’ll start sharing more when I’m feeling gloomy.”

Gibbs added, “I’ve seen what silence can do to a team. Being honest with people you trust — that’s strength, not weakness.

“I plan to sit down with McGee and Ducky and talk more openly about what’s been on my mind, even if I don’t have all the answers yet. That way, I’m not carrying it alone — and they don’t have to guess how to stand with me.”

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Tip 2: Break the Silence During Struggles

“When one of us is struggling,” I said, “we don’t suffer in silence. We talk. Every night, Lee and I set aside time to check in and share how we’re really feeling. Not to dump everything on each other, but to be heard — and to listen.”

“Sometimes that check-in is simple. I might say, ‘My anxiety was running high today, and I’m not sure why.’ Or Lee might say, ‘I felt overwhelmed and just needed you to understand that I was carrying a lot.’”

“And once those words are out in the open, something changes. The struggle is no longer hiding in the room with us. We can look at it together, support each other and decide what we need next — whether that’s quiet time, a walk, a hug or just someone saying, ‘I hear you.’”

“When we talk it out, we feel less alone — and together, we find the strength to keep moving forward.”

Warrior's Takeaway:

SpongeBob bounced up. “Patrick and I totally do that! Well, sort of. We talk while jellyfishing. But now I think I’ll set aside real time to check in with him about how we’re feeling, not just what jellyfish we caught. That way, we can understand each other better before confusion turns into panic.”

John Wick, surprisingly, spoke up.

“I used to keep everything inside. Until one day I realized the silence was hurting me more than the chaos.”

“I’m going to make space for more of those conversations — and maybe even let Winston know what’s going on inside for once. Because when I stop carrying everything alone, I have a better chance of staying steady, focused and ready for whatever comes next.”

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Tip 3: Share Openly With Your Trusted Circle

“We also talk with others in our family and friend circle,” I said. “At first, it was awkward. But once we started opening up, we found that everyone is carrying something. Talking helps people feel safe to be real.”

“And for Lee and me, that has made a huge difference. It takes pressure off the relationship when we don’t expect each other to carry everything alone. Sometimes the support comes from family. Sometimes it comes from friends. Sometimes it comes from someone who simply listens and reminds us we’re not facing life by ourselves.”

“We don’t wait for the perfect moment. We just talk. Because when we open the door to honest conversations, we create a stronger support system — not just for ourselves, but for the people around us too.”

Warrior's Takeaway:

Kevin the Minion piped up.

“We started a Feelings Banana Chat Group. We cry, then snack. It works. But now I think I’ll talk to Bob and Stuart about stuff that’s actually bothering me — not just the usual banana drama. That way, I can stop stuffing it down, feel less alone and stay in charge.”

Gibbs gave a nod of approval.

“We’re all carrying more than we show,” he said. “Sometimes just saying something out loud is the first step toward healing — and it opens the door for others to do the same.”

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Wrap Up

Before everyone headed out, I handed each of them a copy of my book, 53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior.

“You’ve all been Warriors in your own way,” I said, “and I want you to have this. Use Mindset Rule 3: Talk About It with your friends and family. Share what you’re really going through. Help others feel safe to do the same. That’s how we all get stronger — together!”

They accepted the book like medals, even the Minions — who immediately tried to eat the corners. Gibbs gave a rare half-smile. SpongeBob hugged his to his chest. John Wick nodded in silent respect. And Pooh tucked his copy into his honey pot for safekeeping.

They cheered. Confetti flew. Someone — definitely SpongeBob — knocked over the pie.

And then I turned to Lee, my wife and best friend for 31 years, and gave her the biggest, most grateful hug.

“Thank you, Lee Schutter,” I said.

For listening. For talking. For walking beside me when the path was smooth — and when it wasn’t.

Because Mindset Rule 3: Talk About It helped us build the friendship, trust and strength to keep moving forward — TOGETHER.

Bruce Schutter ⚔️

Every day is a chance to choose strength — because YOU'RE IN CHARGE!