Self-Care Is Selfish? Marvin the "Mental Health Warrior" Cat Crushes the Excuse!
- Bruce Schutter
- Sep 15
- 6 min read
It started with a series of urgent texts:
“Bruce. Problem. Doug’s in trouble.”
“He’s stuck in excuse mode. Send backup.”
Naturally, when Marvin the “Mental Health Warrior” Cat texts, I show up.
I found him perched on a bench near the dog park, tail swishing like a tactical metronome. Next to him sat Doug the “Depressed” Dog — looking like he’d just been personally insulted by a squirrel.
Marvin motioned me closer and whispered, “We’ve got an excuse emergency — Doug thinks self-care is selfish. And that, my friend, is a myth that trips up way too many of us.”
Marvin Knows My Story
Marvin, my sharp-tongued sidekick, knows how the Mental Health Warrior Program came to be. He’s read all my books. (He claims he uses them as coasters, but we both know he highlights the good stuff while pretending not to care.)
He knows I spent 20 years battling Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders and PTSD. This left me feeling so powerless that I tried to end my life. But in that dark time, I discovered something life-changing: Mental health is the key to overcoming any challenge.
Armed with this knowledge, I created the Mental Health Warrior Program — a bold new SELF-HELP approach that puts YOU in charge! Not your diagnosis. Not your past. YOU!
And Marvin? He’s been waving that warrior flag ever since — with claws, sarcasm, and plenty of flair, helping his friends (and himself) rise as warriors.
The First Step is the Hardest
“Doug’s stuck,” Marvin explained. “He says taking care of himself is selfish. Can you believe that? SELF-ISH! As if self-care is some kind of betrayal to everyone else.”
I nodded. That excuse is so old it should be retired on Social Security.
“That’s why I gave him your book Stop the Excuses.” Marvin continued. “He’s halfway through Chapter 2. He laughed. Then he cried. Then he buried the book under a blanket and said he ‘wasn’t ready.’”
I grinned. That sounds about right. Stop the Excuses is raw and honest — and it doesn’t let anyone hide. It’s the story of how I got past my own BS using humor and in total, 48 warrior “laughter” tools!
Marvin flipped open his clipboard. “I’ve got three examples that’ll knock the kibble out of Doug’s excuse once and for all. Let me run them by you!”
Example 1: You Can’t Pour from an Empty Bowl
“Let’s start with the obvious,” Marvin said. “Doug thinks taking time for himself means he’s letting everyone else down. But if you don’t take care of your mental health, eventually you won’t be able to take care of anything — your family, your job, your snacks, NOTHING.”
Doug’s ears drooped. “But… doesn’t that make me selfish?”
Marvin rolled his eyes. “Selfish? Please. It’s like trying to feed everyone from an empty food bowl. You’re going to end up resentful, exhausted, barking at mail trucks — maybe even chewing on the furniture. And trust me, no one claps for that.”
Our Turn:
I used to buy into this same myth. I thought if I slowed down or said “no,” I was letting people down. So I crammed my schedule full, worked through exhaustion, and wore “busy” like a badge of honor.
And what did it get me? A one-way ticket to burnout land. I was so drained I once snapped at the grocery store clerk for asking if I wanted paper or plastic. (Spoiler: the problem wasn’t the bags.)
Here’s the mindset shift I finally discovered: self-care isn’t stealing time from others — it’s making sure you have the strength to actually show up for them. When I stopped treating rest as a luxury and started treating it as fuel, things changed. I had more patience with family, more focus at work, and yes — fewer meltdowns over shopping bags.
So no, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s the reason I’m still standing — and the reason I can be here helping others as a Warrior today.
Example 2: Clearing the Deck Makes Room for Joy
Marvin pulled out a diagram. (Of course he had props.) “This is a happiness meter,” he explained, pointing to a cartoon of Doug sitting on a full garbage can labeled Unprocessed Emotions.
Doug tilted his head. “Why do I look constipated?”
“Because you are,” Marvin shot back. “Emotionally constipated. When we neglect our mental health, we fill our days with leftover sadness, fear and stress. But when we make time to clear that out — we make room for joy.”
Doug blinked. “Joy?”
“Yes, joy,” Marvin said, rolling his eyes. “It’s that thing that happens when you’re not dragging around 15 emotional hairballs and a garbage can of doom.”
Our Turn:
I used to think “stuff it down and move on” was the strong thing to do. My strategy was simple: avoid feelings at all costs. If sadness showed up, I’d bury it under work. If anger crept in, I’d drown it in distraction. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t avoiding anything — I was just piling it all into my own mental garbage can.
Eventually, that trash started to stink. I’d blow up at the wrong people for the smallest reasons — like nearly losing it over someone cutting me off in the peanut butter aisle. (Trust me, it wasn’t about the Jif.)
Here’s the mindset shift: processing emotions doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you’re clearing space for joy, peace and resilience. Once I stopped burying my feelings alive and started actually facing them — through journaling, long walks, or even just admitting “yep, I’m angry” — something surprising happened. The garbage cleared. And joy finally had room to show up.
Joy isn’t random luck. It’s what happens when Warriors clear the deck and make space for it to move in!
Example 3: Breathing & Mental Health are Not Optional
Marvin stood up dramatically. “Doug, answer this: Is breathing selfish?”
Doug looked confused. “Uh… no?”
“Exactly. You don’t ask permission to breathe. So why do you ask permission to take care of your mental health when it’s involved in every part of the day?”
He looked directly at me. “Bruce, humans are weird. You’ll breathe automatically, but neglect your own mind until a sarcastic cat sets you straight.”
Our Turn:
For years, I treated mental health like an optional hobby — something I’d “get around to” once the urgent stuff was done. Bills? Handled. Work deadlines? Met. Grocery shopping? Done. But checking in with my emotions? Eh, maybe next week.
That worked about as well as holding my breath and hoping for the best. I wound up snapping at people, zoning out when I should’ve been present, and running on fumes. At one point, I realized I was taking better care of my car than my own mind — I wouldn’t skip an oil change, but I skipped every mental tune-up I needed.
Here’s the mindset shift: mental health isn’t extra. It’s oxygen. Once I started treating it as non-negotiable — scheduling breaks, saying no, even just breathing on purpose — things changed. I had more focus, more energy, and way fewer emotional blowouts in the peanut butter aisle.
Marvin’s right: “Breathing keeps you alive. Mental health keeps you grounded so you can actually live.”
Wrap Up
Doug sat quietly, tail thumping as the lesson sank in. Marvin hopped down from the bench, tail flicking like a victory flag.
“There it is,” he announced. “Myth destroyed. Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s survival. It’s strength. It’s how Warriors stay in the fight. And you don’t need my clipboard to prove it. You just need to act.”
I reached into my bag and handed him my book Stop the Excuses. He smirked, tucked it under his paw and gave Doug a pointed look.
So here’s your challenge, humans: Crush this myth today. No waiting. No apologies. Pick one act of self-care and own it — take a walk, scribble in a journal, or flop on the couch like a cat who knows they deserve it.
Don’t think of it as stealing time from others. Think of it as fueling your ability to rise for them — and for yourself!
Bruce Schutter
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