Holiday Meal — Warrior Style: How Marvin the “Mental Health Warrior” Cat’s Crew Celebrates

I went to the grocery store last Saturday expecting the usual holiday chaos — long lines, cart traffic jams, someone in aisle 5 arguing with a ham. But what I did not expect was to nearly get run over by a shopping cart being driven by Marvin the “Mental Health Warrior” Cat.

“Bruce!” he shouted, skidding to a stop. “Perfect timing. We’re making a Holiday Warrior Meal and we need cranberries that aren’t 78% sugar and a turkey that doesn’t make Doug cry.”

Behind him came his crew — Percy the “PTSD” Platypus gripping a shopping list with military intensity, Doug the “Depressed” Dog holding Brussel sprouts like emotional support friends, Samantha the “Stressed-Out” Squirrel zig-zagging through aisles at mach speed and Andy the “Anxious” Aardvark carrying a basket that was shaking almost as much as he was.

“We’re cooking Warrior-style this year!” Marvin declared proudly. “We’re using your book 3 Food Rules of a Mental Health Warrior — Low carbs, no sugar and nothing super processed. A Warrior Feast!”

Samantha tossed an avocado like a grenade. “We will not be taken down by bloating, sugar crashes or mystery ingredients this year!”

Percy saluted with a carton of unsweetened almond milk.

Doug sighed dramatically. “I’m just here for the emotional support carbs. Warrior-approved carbs.”

I laughed. “So what exactly are you cooking?”

Marvin puffed his chest. “Each of us is making one part of the meal using one Food Rule — and we’re starting right now. Follow us!”

And that’s how I found myself on a grocery-store adventure with a cat, a dog, a squirrel, a platypus and an aardvark who were determined to host the healthiest, mentally strongest holiday dinner ever assembled.

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The Warrior Story

As we pushed the cart toward produce, Percy slowed his step and nudged Marvin. “Tell him why we’re doing this,” he said.

Marvin nodded. “Bruce, we know your story — the 20 years you struggled with Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders and PTSD. The kind of struggles that don’t just challenge you… they take over your life.”

The crew got quiet.

“For years you felt powerless,” Marvin continued. “So powerless you tried to end your life. But then you discovered something life-changing: mental health is the key to overcoming any challenge.”

Percy chimed in. “And then you created the Mental Health Warrior Program — a bold new SELF-HELP approach that puts YOU in charge! So you can take charge of your emotions, triumph over challenges and build the life you really want.

Samantha hopped onto a bag of cranberries like it was her personal podium. “That’s why the 3 Food Rules of a Mental Health Warrior is an important part of the program,” she announced. “Food isn’t just food — it’s fuel for our mind. It either keeps us steady or sends our emotions on a rollercoaster, we didn’t buy a ticket for.”

She held up the book dramatically, flipping to the dog-eared page.

The 3 Food Rules of a Mental Health Warrior

Food Rule 1: Low-carb foods — to keep your energy and emotions steady.

Food Rule 2: No sugar — because sugar crashes are emotional landmines.

Food Rule 3: Minimally processed ingredients — what you eat should support your body, not sabotage your mood.

“These rules keep us grounded,” she said. “And your book doesn’t stop there — it’s packed with advice, recipes, mindset strategies and real-life guidance for building mental strength through what we eat.”

Doug was already peeling a sweet potato like he was preparing it for therapy. “We’re making a Warrior Holiday Meal — to stay stable, strong and ready for whatever mental health curveball shows up before dessert.”

Andy exhaled, clutching green beans. “And to avoid a sugar crash that makes me question my entire life during the family photo.”

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Percy’s Warrior Turkey Rub  Low — Carb for Steady Strength

Percy took charge of the turkey section like he was preparing for a covert operation.

“Most holiday meals send your blood sugar on a reconnaissance mission you do not come back from,” he said. “Not today.”

He placed a turkey in the cart. “We’re skipping the sugary glazes and carb-heavy stuffing. Instead we’re doing a Warrior herb rub: olive oil, garlic, rosemary, lemon, salt and pepper.”

Simple. Clean. No hidden ingredients. The turkey equivalent of emotional stability.

Percy’s Brief Recipe Overview

• Coat turkey in olive oil

• Rub with rosemary, garlic, lemon zest and salt

• Roast until golden Warrior perfection

“That’s it,” Percy said, nodding like he’d just defused a holiday bomb.

Our Turn:

My crew said “we’ve had turkey for years. We want to explore the wild side this holiday. Give us something bold! Something Warrior!”

So this year… I’m making a Warrior Meatloaf. And yes — they cheered.

My Warrior Meatloaf (Food Rule 1 Approved)

• Ground beef or turkey

• Eggs

• Onion & garlic

• Crushed Pork Rinds instead of breadcrumbs (low-carb win!)

• Salt, pepper & Italian seasoning

• Tomato paste (no sugar added) for the top

Mix, shape, bake — boom. A low-carb, steady-fuel, emotionally-grounding holiday meatloaf masterpiece.

Turns out the crew was right. A Warrior Holiday deserves a Warrior Meatloaf. Bold, strong and stable — just like the mindset we’re building.

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Doug’s Brussel Sprouts Redemption — No Sugar

Doug stepped forward, “I love the idea of holiday vegetables,” he began, sighing so deeply a nearby shopper checked on him. “But every year someone ruins Brussels sprouts by drowning them in maple syrup, honey or — I can’t believe I’m saying this — marshmallows. Marshmallows! On vegetables!”

He clutched a bag of Brussels sprouts to his chest like he was rescuing them from emotional abuse.

“Not this year. This year I’m doing it Warrior-style. No sugar. No sticky glazes. Just real flavor — the kind that supports your mental health instead of sending you into a coma before dessert.”

Then he leaned in and whispered dramatically: “And I’m adding… bacon bits.”

Marvin blinked. “Warrior bacon bits?”

Doug nodded. “Real bacon. Crumbled. Not the neon-red stuff from a bottle.” He pointed at the sprouts like a general identifying troops. “It’s protein. It’s flavor. It’s hope.”

Doug’s Warrior Brussels Sprouts (With Bacon Bits)

• Trim Brussels sprouts

• Toss with olive oil

• Season with salt, pepper, garlic & grated parmesan cheese

• Roast until crispy on the edges

• Top with crumbled, real bacon bits for a Warrior-approved finishing move

Doug stood proudly over the sprouts. “No sugar, no nonsense,” he said. “Just clean, comforting flavor… and bacon. Because sometimes a Warrior needs a little joy.”

He stood a little taller — redeemed, confident and mildly emotional over perfectly roasted vegetables.

Our Turn:

For my Food Rule 2 dish, I’m making Warrior Mashed Cauliflower with Cheddar Cheese — the low-carb, sugar-free cousin of mashed potatoes that actually keeps you steady instead of sleepy.

My Warrior Mashed Cauliflower

• Steam or boil cauliflower until fork-tender

• Mash with a little butter

• Add shredded cheddar cheese

• Season with salt, pepper and garlic

Creamy. Comforting. Zero sugar. And it doesn’t hit your system like a brick wrapped in nostalgia and regret.

It’s the kind of dish that lets you enjoy the holiday meal without the sugar crash, mood crash or energy crash that used to derail my entire night.

Clean fuel. Real flavor. Warrior-approved.

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Andy’s Stress-Free Green Beans — Minimally Processed

Andy looked at me with wide, anxious eyes. “Bruce… aisles make me nervous.”

He held a bag of green beans like it was a weighted blanket. “I’m making a Warrior green bean side,” he said. “No canned soups. No processed toppings. Just real food.”

Andy’s Warrior Green Beans

• Fresh green beans

• Sauté in olive oil

• Add garlic, lemon and almonds

• Top with sea salt

“I can actually breathe after eating these,” he said, relieved. And honestly? He looked calmer just talking about them.

Our Turn:

For my Food Rule 3 dish, I’m keeping it simple too — Warrior Broccoli with Real Cheese Sauce.

No canned soup. No powdered cheese. No mystery ingredients with 14 syllables. Just clean, real ingredients that support your brain instead of sabotaging it.

My Warrior Broccoli with Cheese Sauce

• Steam fresh broccoli

• Melt real cheddar cheese with a splash of almond milk or cream

• Add a bit of butter

• Season with salt, pepper and garlic powder

Rich. Comforting. Minimal ingredients. A side dish that fuels your body, steadies your mood and leaves you feeling strong — not sluggish.

And unlike the processed versions, this one won’t send your emotions on a field trip without permission.

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Samantha’s Warrior Treats Shortcut — No Sugar

Samantha the “Stressed-Out” Squirrel zipped past us in the frozen aisle, skid-stopping with the confidence of someone who definitely has 47 tabs open in her brain.

“I don’t cook,” she announced proudly, tossing her hair like a holiday diva. “But I do believe in the 3 Food Rules — and I also believe in dessert.”

She opened the freezer door with a flourish. “So for my Warrior contribution…” She grabbed a pint and held it high like the Holy Grail. “Low-carb, sugar-free ice cream. Bam. Done. Delicious.”

She winked. “Fits my schedule. Fits my emotional bandwidth. Fits the Food Rules. Fits me.”

Honestly? She wasn’t wrong. It checked all three boxes:

• Low-carb ✔

• No sugar ✔

• Minimally processed ✔

• Bonus: Requires zero cooking ✔✔✔

Samantha tossed the ice cream into the cart and zipped off toward the checkout like she had three meetings to get to and exactly one acorn left in her planner.

“That’s Samantha,” Marvin said. “Always busy. Always stressed. Always Warrior.”

Our Turn:

Watching Samantha speed-run dessert inspired me — just with a little more effort and a lot more flavor.

“Okay,” I said, rolling up my sleeves. “If we’re doing dessert Warrior-style, I’m making Warrior Cookies.” The crew gasped. Doug fainted a little from excitement.

My Warrior Cookies (Food Rule–Approved!)

• Almond flour

• Sugar-free chocolate chips

• Egg

• Butter

• A little vanilla extract

• Pinch of salt

That’s it. Simple. Clean. Warrior fuel.

I whipped them up fast — quick enough to keep up with Samantha’s schedule — and boom: Dessert you can enjoy without feeling like your emotions are about to enter witness protection.

Between Samantha’s ice cream and my Warrior Cookies, we had the dessert course covered — strong, steady and 100% Warrior-approved.

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Wrap Up

By the time we checked out, the cart looked like the holiday version of a Warrior training kit — greens, clean proteins, real ingredients and nothing that would sabotage emotional stability or send anyone spiraling into holiday despair.

Marvin loaded the bags into Samantha’s tiny car (along with his copy of the 3 Food Rules of a Mental Health Warrior tucked into a grocery bag like contraband health wisdom). Then he turned to me.

“See, Bruce? A holiday meal doesn’t have to knock you off your emotional game. When we follow the Food Rules, we stay steady, we stay strong and we actually enjoy being together.”

I laughed. “Warrior Meal. Warrior Minds. Warrior Holiday.”

As they drove off — with Marvin hanging halfway out the window holding a turkey like a trophy — I realized something powerful: A Warrior Meal isn’t just good for your body. It boosts your mental health. It builds stability.

And as a bonus… it brings people together in a way sugar crashes never will.

This holiday, try cooking Warrior-style — one real ingredient at a time — and feel the difference in your mind, your mood and your day.

Because even during the holidays… YOU are in charge — and YOU can Triumph!

Bruce Schutter

Every day is a chance to choose strength — because YOU'RE IN CHARGE!